Kodi Arfer / Wisterwood

According to folk wisdom, men and women are different in the following ways

Topic List
#001 | willis5225 |
So here's a weird inverse proportionality I've just noticed: the amount of effort I put into meeting, wooing and etceteraing a woman and her degree of slammin'ness.

Of the women I've dated, those I've had to work at with the hanging out at the drinketarium and the talking to her friends and the little thoughtful small but insignificant gifts have been, I would say, averagely slammin'. Like pretty slammin'; don't get me wrong, I'm not saying everyone I've dated has in retrospect been hideous, because that would be a pretty pointlessly mean thing to say; they've just been at most fairly slammin'.

Meanwhile, and I'm not saying that this is a common occurrence (indeed, it took 24 years before the phenomenon became evident) every time I'm sitting somewhere, say looking forward to a dudes' night out with nerdy board games and whiskey, and some girl just throws herself at me, they're totally slammin'. It's only happened like three times, but man, every time they have been absolutely slammin', after I've put next to no effort in and am often not entirely sure who this young woman is.

Now, I've broken this phenomenon down into three kinds of hot women whom I don't know and don't really talk to and then they try to have sex with me because of my irresistible magnetism.

1) Women who have just broken up with their boyfriends, and her boyfriend is in the room, and is my buddy, and she starts making out with me to cause a scene, and because she's kind of drunk

2) Strippers, who are paid to give the impression that they want to have sex with me for absolutely no effort on my part, and indeed it's kind of weird if you put effort into your relationship with a stripper a la Mickey Rourke's stripper friend in The Wrestler

3) Crazies who I'm the first one to walk into the room in front of and then they want to have sex with me on that account because I look kind of like the older brother on Boy Meets World

Now I don't know what science has to say about all this, but I'm pretty sure it's the work of the Illuminati working in conjunction with the reverse vampires.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
#002 | Jacehan |
I'm gonna have to deduct two points for either over-use or under-use of slammin', not sure which. It's the bit where, you know, it's funny then not funny then comes back around to being funny again after bein' so ridiculous, but I think you got caught in the middle.
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#003 | Kodiologist |
It did cause me to refer to Urban Dictionary, validating his signature once again.

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The Albino Formerly Known as Mimir
#004 | willis5225 |
Yeah, I sorta started nodding off halfway through, and then instead of waiting until later I just kinda went with it. Bad call, me. Bad call.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
#005 | TheCheezBounce |
*Smacks willis with a wet trout*
Because I'm a crazy ***** that way. :B
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Holy **** we're in the Matrix? - Willis
#006 | GMTELigence |
I never noticed your Will Friedlellian qualities before this, but now I definitely do.
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May the best of your todays be the worst of your tomorrows.
Days Left: 569
#007 | FoxMetaI |
feeheeheeneh
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