Kodi Arfer / Wisterwood

I just gave somebody their first kiss.

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#001 | Jacehan |
I don't know how I feel about that. Maybe it's because my first kiss was also my then-girlfriend's first kiss and so there was that sorta mutual figuring it out, and now it's like it's old hat to me, but not to this guy. I dunno.
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#002 | BUM |
Yeah, hm... that's interesting, how old is he? I feel like the later the first kiss the more acute the attachment is likely to be. Not that attachment is bad, but when it comes hard and fast it probably is. I get what you mean.

Not that I'm saying that's the case with this fella. It's just the first thing that jumps out at me.
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#003 | Jacehan |
Yeah, I kinda had the same thought. Like, it was a good first date, in my book, but what did it mean to him?

He's 21.
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#004 | Mith |
Congrats on your first stalker, Jace.

Don't be surprised by super clingy-ness.

Neat, I just made a word.

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#005 | willis5225 |
Yeah, I'm with Gary. I'm not going to say it's impossible for virgins to keep things in perspective, but the only times I've continued to date someone when one of us actively disliked the other, it was because the disliker was a virgin and couldn't conceptualize a parting.

Also, it seems reasonable (and has occurred such in my experience) that the effect is enhanced according to the level of reservation a given individual has about sex and 21 never kissed anybody sounds kinda reserved.

I don't know whether I drunk-ranted to you about my recent germane experience, but continuing is probably going to lead to clinginess and, when that clinginess becomes unsustainable, you looking like the bad guy. That said, somebody's eventually going to look like the bad guy, because everybody needs that villain in their life's story, so feel free to see this one through, just understand that you'll be feeling things you've felt before and he'll not be doing that.
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#006 | Jacehan |
Well, 21 never kissed anybody might be a result of struggling with identity more so than reservation about sex.

That does seem kinda pessimistic, guys, but I definitely see where it's coming from. If it does end, it will end poorly, but in a way I feel this sort of hypothetical guilt. Not actual guilt, because for right now I like him and am fine with seeing him again, but suppose the second date goes poorly and I want to end it. It's like, I'm just some guy who he knew for less than a week, and that's his first kiss? And so even if I supposedly wanted to end it, do I let it go on a little longer just to make it more meaningful?

Oh, but that's a stupid question to think about because it's not relevant at the moment. I can think about it if it becomes relevant.
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#007 | BUM |
The best thing is always honesty. Letting something go on for the facade of meaningfulness will just make it worse. If it were a bad situation, honesty might make for a harsh few moments of your life, but in the end both parties would probably feel better afterwards.

Not that this is a disaster situation! It could lead to a lot of great dates in the future, and more.
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#008 | Mith |
You're going to get a sys note Jace. Say hi to Tarrun for me.

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#009 | Jacehan |
Ah, and the mystery is solved 10 seconds after it comes into existence.
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#010 | willis5225 |
Eh, I count identity struggling under the same umbrella, except perhaps that that is more significant and thus more of a powder keg.
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#011 | Jacehan |
You think it's more of a powder keg, not less?
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#012 | willis5225 |
Well 'cause then the kissing and all accompanying interactions are also tied up with a validation of that identity that had been in question. If it were just a romance/sex thing it would have the capacity to be overpowering, but if coming out was kind of a struggle, and your overtures of dude-affection validate his overcoming of that struggle... I must run out the door and wish I could articulate this better, but do you see what I'm saying?

But what Mark said; if you start getting weird vibes don't be afraid to say "hey man, I'm getting some intensity coming off of you that I'm just not feeling." It'll be worse if you don't say that.
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#013 | TheCheezBounce |
Bluh. Wish I could go back to my first kiss and make it un-happen. I didn't want to kiss him anyway. He stole it from me. ;_;
Also, he was AWFUL. I've never had someone actively grind their teeth against mine since then.

Another first reaction: JACE IS GAY!?
I'm over that now, though. (You guys never tell me anything :( )

Uhm, I've been in a relationship for so long I don't even remember what beginning a real relationship is like anymore. I'm just going to give the thumbs up and wish you good luck.
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#014 | Jacehan |
Well, I'm bi. And it doesn't really come up that often unless, you know, I make a topic about a date. And I've been single for a while.
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