PMS, I need your advice

#001 | Jacehan | Thu 24 Feb 2011 @ 8:55:31 PM (UTC)

Okay, so I am currently living in an apartment with two other people, M and A. Our lease comes up on May 1st and M and I have decided that we no longer wish to live with A. However, we do still wish to remain friends with A. This complicates matters, especially since she doesn't really have any other friends she could live with, and can't afford to live on her own (although she does have some family nearby).

What do we do? How do we tell A this while still remaining friends (and keeping the next two months of living together less awkward)?
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
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#002 | PaperSpock | Thu 24 Feb 2011 @ 10:09:52 PM (UTC)

Well, what's the reasoning behind not wanting to live with A anymore?
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#003 | Toaps | Thu 24 Feb 2011 @ 10:19:40 PM (UTC)

probably 'cause she's a chick and living with girls sucks.
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i did it

#004 | Kodiologist | Thu 24 Feb 2011 @ 10:22:49 PM (UTC)

From: PaperSpock | Posted: 2/24/2011 5:09:52 PM | #002
Well, what's the reasoning behind not wanting to live with A anymore?

Yeah, it depends on why don't want to live with A anymore. If the reason is relatively inoffensive to A, like "this fla—" er, "this house is too small for three people", then why not just tell her the truth? On the other hand, if you think she will find the reason offensive, are you sure you want to be friends? To the extend that she has no other place to go, it's unfriendly of you to eject her. A friend in need, etc. Conversely, if she's a good friend, she should be willing to reasonably accommodate you and M while she's living under the same roof.

We'll probably need to know more of your mutual history in order to give you good advice.
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"Monads are easy. Think of them as burritos."

#005 | Jacehan | Thu 24 Feb 2011 @ 10:29:58 PM (UTC)

A lot of reasons. If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be when she said "I would rather there be no cooking/you didn't cook than have to help clean it up." It demonstrated a different lifestyle/ideal for living. And, of course, when I have cooked since then, she has sometimes even asked me to make her some.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)

#006 | willis5225 | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 1:16:14 AM (UTC)

How much does A suck? I may need a room mate ca. May 1.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir

#007 | willis5225 | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 1:38:24 AM (UTC)

Real advice: be honest and adult about it. Say "look, I like you as a friend, we have different lifestyles that are tolerable but not compatible as roommates. I'd still like for us to be friends, I just don't want to live together anymore."

If she asks why, don't be petty, don't candycoat it and don't harsh on her--just make what you've said here into a generalized statement. "I like to live in a communal setting, and you've said explicitly that you don't." Emphasize that this is just about a living situation and not a friendship or fundamental judgment of any kind.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir

#008 | Kodiologist | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 2:02:45 AM (UTC)

Seconded.
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"Monads are easy. Think of them as burritos."

#009 | HeyDude | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 2:35:05 AM (UTC)

Thirded!

#010 | PaperSpock | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 4:16:12 AM (UTC)

Fourthified
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#011 | Smithy04 | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 4:48:55 AM (UTC)

Fifthificated
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#012 | LinkPrime1 | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 4:51:28 AM (UTC) | (edited)

Sixthamoted
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#013 | Kodiologist | Fri 25 Feb 2011 @ 11:43:33 AM (UTC)

I totally saw that coming, aside from the neologisms.
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"Monads are easy. Think of them as burritos."

#014 | Jacehan | Tue 1 Mar 2011 @ 1:52:30 AM (UTC)

Haven't done this yet. Gotta do it by tomorrow, reasonably. Terribly anxious, it's kinda like breaking up with someone.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)

#015 | Ocarinakid2 | Tue 1 Mar 2011 @ 2:27:08 AM (UTC)

Good luck. Not an easy thing to do. Kinda did something similar with a roommate's girlfriend who moved up from Florida without our consent.
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Ocarinakid

#016 | Jacehan | Tue 8 Mar 2011 @ 2:38:43 AM (UTC)

Didn't actually initiate the conversation because a number of events caused a delay, and then A brought it up just now, so I had to pretty much say it. But I only said (after a lot of heavy breathing) that I thought we should go our separate ways, and she didn't ask why.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)

#017 | Jacehan | Wed 9 Mar 2011 @ 12:09:47 AM (UTC)

No, she was only just shocked, full force of reaction came afterward. My stomach is in knots, and she thinks I hate her.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)