Put aside your real-life career aspirations and histories for a moment and tell us what jobs you think are particularly attractive, frightening, neat, or bizarre.
I sometimes wish I were a librarian. Not somebody in charge of managing books and patrons so much as somebody who designs and implements systems for organizing and disseminating vast quantities of knowledge. (That's "knowledge", not "information"—I'm not keen to be a database administrator.) I find all this Semantic Web stuff pretty exciting, even if it's grown moribund.
On a related note, although I love computer programming, I don't think I'd ever want to be a professional programmer. I've heard too many horror stories about how professional programmers are expected to work unreasonable hours subject to the whims of technically incompetent managers and are constantly struggling with themselves to just implement things the most obvious way instead of trying to be ambitious and creative. It all sounds like the perfect way to take the joy out of coding. Not to mention that I don't want to help produce non-free software, as professionals typically do.
If I couldn't be a psychologist, I'd be a mathematician. But you probably knew that already.
Being a psychotherapist sounds emotionally exhausting and unrewarding. No doubt you end up talking to people you really want nothing to do with about problems you don't want to think about that rarely have clean solutions. At least the pay is good?
I'd have trouble trying to choose the job I'd want the least, but certainly salesman, soldier, coal miner, dentist, and underpants model would be competitors.
P. S. You have my word that the exclamation point in the topic title is there solely to satisfy the minimum for title lengths.
--- "As for me, I can neither drum nor trumpet, nor tell jokes, nor fart amusingly at parties, nor play the harp."
I often wish I had a job that was more noble. Firefighter, police officer, teacher, doctor are all professions I've thought of. Of those, doctor is the one I can least see myself doing, as most hospital doctors, I imagine, have to keep non-family-friendly hours and I'm a family man at heart. Also although I love to help people and solve puzzles, I know it's not all diagnostics (unless you're House) and I also don't like science all that much. Actually, I do, but I don't like science classes.
I think construction work is cool. It's a blue-collar job working with groups of people. They always seem to be relatively honest and happy people. The salt of America.
I feel like being a campus historian, especially for an especially old college or university (like my very own University of Washington) would be incredibly fascinating. I'm a huge nerd for campus history stuff and I wish I could just spend time really immersing myself in it. Which I find sort of odd, because I found history as a general subject in school pretty boring. --- http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v129/ukealii50/kylo.jpg - Thanks uke! http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/829/07kyloforce.png - Thanks Diyosa!
It surprised me a bit to see you describe construction workers as good-hearted people. Just the other day a friend of my mother's was joking that wolf-whistling at strangers must be in the job description. Maybe Detroit construction-worker culture is pleasanter than the New York variety?
Maybe I just have a romantic ideal, like http://img-fotki.yandex.ru/get/24/smooky.1a/0_afdf_7977b0c8_XL
Blue-collar workers in general seem to me to be good, "regular" people, and seeing as how some blue-collar trades aren't social (like plumbing) those ones don't require as much getting along and good times. I see construction work as highly social and I imagine people drinking beer and playing cards on break.