Harder than normal life. Worth it a hundred fold but BOY am I constantly surprised by the challenges I didn't know to expect.
I like how you contrast marriage with "normal life". Otherwise, care to elaborate enough so that we have something to respond to?
---
"did you know that in real life all those stats for how often the average person thinks about sex are ACTUALLY about ice cream?"
I suppose when I've been married for a really long time, it'll usurp singledom as "normal life" but for now, it ain't normal!
What prompted me to post this was my wife getting to a point of unmanageable stress and me getting to a point where I didn't want to deal with her irritability any more. We had a big fight about it. We ended up resolving that Jess would go to AA more, as she's been neglecting to go and it's important that alcoholics keep going to they can keep managing their life (rather than just continuing to not drink; she hadn't broken her streak of not drinking, but if you define sobriety as broadly as AA does to include your mental state, she was not "living sober").
Yes, marriage is hard. I think you and Jess are at roughly the same point in your own relationship that my parents were when they had the roughest time of it. The intense effort and pain of caring for very young children (yours truly, in the case of my parents) is presumably part of the problem.
I didn't know that AA embraced the broader sense of the word "sober". I like that. Sobriety is indeed a virtue. I don't know whether AA generally constitutes good psychotherapy, but having a third party for Jess to tell her troubles to is probably a good thing if she's unhappy at home.
Is she employed, by the way, or is she currently a stay-at-home mom?
---
"did you know that in real life all those stats for how often the average person thinks about sex are ACTUALLY about ice cream?"
Yeah, relationships in general are just full of pitfalls and hurdles. I think it helps a lot more if you do your best to anticipate those problems and have the mindset to work past it.
---
"I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific."
Hehe, "hard dudes."
Seriously, though, good luck to you and Jess.
---
Was it a car or a cat I saw?
>_>
<_<
Seriously, if this is the worst thing you have to try and get through, count your blessings. Marriage is supposed to be for life and there *will* be rough spots. The most important thing Hattie (lol, she hates it when I call her that) and I learned is that when one of us has had enough, we can go off somewhere for an hour or so (not more than 2) to collect ourselves and settle down before either of us says something unforgivable.
The most common mistake ive seen and have been guilty of is that every now and then, you will both need some space and staying on top of each other will not improve the situation. And by every now and then, I mean every 3-6 months. Weekly isn't good. You both need to determine what your personal line is.
---
http://lostfacts.net/
I've looked at the world for quite a few years now and I've found that if I don't laugh, I'll probably end up crying.
Yeah I mean, it could always be worse; I know that. Not trying to compare our marriages though. Anyway now that we've talked we're both feeling better. Jess has been less volatile the past couple days so that's cool.
Yeah, I've definitely killed long-term relationships with a "familiarity breeds contempt" model. I'm frankly a little paranoid about it now.
---
Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir