I used to be a right-wing trollish a-hole... now I'm just two of those things

I just wanna get something off my chest, and no, I'm not gonna go Anthony on you guys' asses, but this has bothered me off and on, so I'm just gonna lay it out for all you PMSing PMSers who are still around. Pretty much I'm just gonna talk about 'our' issues here and some experiences that helped change me (for better or for worse). Ready? Here we go!

So 4+ years ago I bragged about how I was gonna run for president and I went and pissed all of you off with my then-ultraconservative ideals. In reflection, I still question whether or not I was intentionally trolling everybody. Then again, I was an 18 year old, home-schooled, rural white boy who had two also-home-schooled-rural-white-boys who could fap to Ayn Rand porn as best friends at the time, so God only knows if I really believed in what I was saying back then. All I know is that right now is that there are two things preventing me from going back in time to beat the **** out of my past self (and not just for this reason, but for millions of other past reasons. gotta love self-loathing). 1) I'd probably end up killing myself in both timelines doing so, and 2) I don't have a goddamn time machine. Go figure.

Secondly, I know I pissed a lot of you guys off by trolling on here in the past, and by deleting everyone here I was FB friends with; except for Jakob, who I am still very close friends with both online and in real life. Other notable PMSians I kept around due to some form of respect or admiration I still have for them include Brandon, David, Travis, Alex, Sarah, and of course, Gary. He's the ****ing man and don't you ever deny it.

My only justification in deleting everyone was that I felt there was no way I could achieve friendship with anyone on this board after all that I've done. Jon and Fred both deleted me and possibly blocked me during my trolling acts, and frankly, I don't blame them nor do I feel anger towards them in the slightest (especially now that Fred re-added me recently).

Ever since meeting Jakob for the first time, last summer, and going with him to Seattle to meet Jon (also for the first time), it occurred to me that perhaps there is a possibility that everything might be cool with all the other PMSians. Hence why I started actually bothering to post on here again occasionally. The more time passed, the more I began to get the feeling that I was unwelcome here by a lot of you. I had the feeling that I was still resented for my past actions and that I was still being judged for who I was, all those years ago.

Well right now I'm gonna turn 23 on V-day. I'm nothing like how I used to be. My political AND philosophical views have made a huge U-turn. I cast aside my faith, knowing I could no longer go back to it due to my hatred of most Christians and organized religions in general. I could no longer subscribe the the conservative view due to my hatred of Republicans and even more intense hatred of rednecks. This possibly stemming from the fact I nearly got into an all-out fist-fight with my conservative, redneck uncle, the fact that my first girlfriend was from a Republican family and she slept with 50 men before dating me and we only lasted two months together, the fact that one of my previously-mentioned friends and I had a rather violent falling out caused by just our DIFFERENCES in religious and political beliefs! ...That, and I did say some pretty nasty things to his wife and her family, but I digress.

(continued in next post)
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To say that I'm outlandish and over-the-top doesn't even scrape the bottom.

(continued)

Don't get me wrong though, its not like I'm suddenly the Anti-Republican. It's just that I notice that a lot of people I have problems with happen to be on a certain side of the fence. This isn't always the case though. I was once friends and bandmates with this one guy who was a agnostic-liberal-anarchist who smokes pot. Unfortunately for me, he was one of those intellectual-types who would look down on you if you weren't as smart, plus he would often make fun of me for not getting laid as often as he does. This, combined with my bruised ego, combined with the fact that after he quit the band he tried to **** with my other band by spreading rumors and ****, it REALLY didn't mix very well and I eventually gave him the worst verbal beatdown I ever gave someone.

So what's all this prove? It proves that I don't hate on people based on their beliefs. They can believe and do whatever they want, I don't give a flying ****. But if they cross the line and piss me off, there's always gonna be hell to pay, no matter who or what they are. Aaaaaand this also proves that I can be a real ******* at times, but I'm sure a lot of you already knew that.

Why am I writing all of this? I'm sure you're all wondering why. Hell, I'm kinda wondering, myself. I guess it's because before social networking really came about, this place (let alone GameFAQs) WAS my social network. I met lots of cool people on here. Most of my online friends were based here. Now I have various circles of friends and acquaintances, despite my tragic loses. To lose anymore people to trivialities would only bring me more grief.

Finally, after more than 4 years, I wish to apologize to everyone here that I have EVER offended in the past, and that if you would be willing to, let's reconnect and just be friends again. I've already gotten to meet two of you; I'd love to meet more of you, one of these days. I hope to gain that same favor from many of you.

Don't judge for who I was. Judge me for who I am today.

Thank you for reading. Sorry this is so friggin' long, I didn't even intended for it to be longer than but a few paragraphs... xD
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To say that I'm outlandish and over-the-top doesn't even scrape the bottom.

Hey man, I had no idea actually. I was just always like, it's ZB, he's got a lot of stuff to say, but I never really took offense to anything. I just always figured you were amped up about something!
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Hey ZB, we're still cool. I haven't really noticed people being cold to you on here or unwelcoming... it could just be because we're slow so nothing really gets a lot of responses anyway. Maybe some people are upset with you, but if so they don't tell that to me. Glad to see you're not trying to be the second coming of Reagan anymore. Sad to see you cast your faith aside.

No hard feelin's, Zeebs! I may not have liked your right-wingedness, but, to my memory, you were never hostile or vitriolic, so I was not offended.

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I'm not dead yet.

I was never offended by what you had to say, really. I remember a few of the topics you made about the issues you discussed before, but yeah, never offended or anything like that.

... I'd probably end up killing myself in both timelines doing so, and...

When I first read this I was like OH GOD DON'T DO IT! But then I realized you weren't talking about suicide and...yeah...

...fact that one of my previously-mentioned friends and I had a rather violent falling out caused by just our DIFFERENCES in religious and political beliefs! ...That, and I did say some pretty nasty things to his wife and her family, but I digress...

I remember this topic too, but if I recall right, you left out the fact that you insulted his family =P

But wutevs, you always bring a bit of activity here. And you're one of the MSGers that migrated over here around the same time I did (us, Smithy, and dustPAL). So we coo'
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Well, there is a new accent of n00b language. It's called: Vet LUEser goes Foreign!-MegaSpy22
Those must be the pants of the gods!-Digitalpython

:) Thanks guys. This really means a lot to me. Lately I've been having this growing paranoia that everyone I know secretly hates me and refuses to tell me why, and it's causing me to start making some more changes to myself. I just happened to feel like starting here since I felt it would be the easiest place to start. :p

Anyways, yeah... Hunter and I REALLY didn't get along well. He had been bullying me at every turn and we'd bicker constantly. Let's just say when I'm pissed off, I can be really spiteful and ruthless... thankfully, it takes A LOT to piss me off these days. We're actually still on speaking terms (sort of...) and we still agree to be in the same room together for the sake of his little brother (who happens to be one of my best friends and is, thank God, apolitical).

Anyhow, anyone who wants to add me on Facebook again, I now go by Zach Burgandy and Zack Panther (my stage name).
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To say that I'm outlandish and over-the-top doesn't even scrape the bottom.

Welcome back dude!

Try not to sweat anything dumb you thought when you were eighteen. Life is kind of a continuous process of realizing that what you thought 2-3 years ago was really dumb.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir

I confirm what Wil said.

You're gonna think that's really dumb by the time you're my age.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir

kekeke