This is about quietude.
How much do you require? How much is good in your life? In fact, do you sometimes feel it's better not to even talk at all, or limit how much you say?
I wonder how I compare sometimes to the other denizens of my planet.
I intentionally wake up quite early to gain as much quietude as I can, and make special trips during the day to find some sort of sanctuary away from marauding noises, at least for one hour. I also realize I have taken to severely limiting what I say.
Anyway, the issue has been bothering me lately, so I thought I'd see where other people fall on the scale. I know I'm kind of extreme, but I'm wondering how extreme (at least among a sample size of people roughly my age, males, from America, who use the internet and have been loyal to a specific niche of it for 10+ years)
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I need quiet to get anything done. I can't live without it. I'd take a monastery over a Starbucks any day of the week. When I am in social settings, though, I tend to err on the side of talking too much, perhaps as compensation.
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"…and for other purposes."
I don't get it much but I get very out of sorts when I go too long without it. I consider it as mentally valuable as sleep but am in a phase of life where I have to run on fumes.
Just so that I can give you an accurate response for your research, we're working with quietude = quiet + solitude, right? Because sometimes I feel like I desperately need those things and sometimes it drives me crazy.
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You're both diligent and communal, Jon, so I guess it makes sense that you'd be torn, or at least inconsistent.
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"…and for other purposes."
Quiet is good when I want to work, so I get my best work done at the very early hours in the morning, which I enjoy.
When I first read your question, I thought you meant quiet, but with other people. There are times when spending time in the company of others, but quiet, is nice. Some people feel like the quietness is awkward and try to fill it with words, but it's not, and their talking makes it awkward.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
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It's certainly necessary, and I feel like I need it more than the average person (but probably on par with you guys).
When in social settings I usually take the "Don't say anything unless I have something to say." path. And yet, when it comes to texting or social media or whatever, I'm the opposite. Weird eh?
I guess it doesn't help that my job forces me to be outgoing and energetic...which isn't me at all. I'm pretty introverted-
Lemme cut myself off there before I rant about my job <_<
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I've actually thought about this a lot (on occasions before this question was posed to me at this time) and I've come to this conclusion:
With me, the more of one that I have, the more I (sometimes desperately) tend to need the other.
At my job, I am more often than not sitting at a computer fairly constantly, stopping only when greeting someone at the desk, getting water, going to the bathroom, or running some errand. Extended conversations with coworkers do happen throughout the week but it's rarely anything super substantial. I look forward to Tuesday and Thursday evenings when I have dance practice/rehearsals because I get to goof around with my friends and be up and moving and active. It is not an exaggeration to say that looking forward to those two nights a week greatly helps me get through my usually very quiet work weeks. People have come into our office and noted how dead quiet it is a lot of the time, and I tend to agree with them. We do have some fun conversations, but again, it's not as common as I would like (because we're often busy being productive, or at least trying to be.)
But the opposite is true, too. You guys know that I work with a lot of middle school/high school age kids trying to help them pursue higher education. Once a year for the last five years I've gone on a retreat in the summer with these kids where we have workshops, activities, games, etc., to help the kids get to know each other and the mentors in the program and it is nearly wall-to-wall interacting with people, nonstop. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the energy that the kids bring and that the mentors have, and it is an infectiously good time and re-energizing time to be spending that much close time with that many people. But I also always make it a point to try to wake up earlier than everyone else (even if that means setting my alarm for 5 or 5:30) so that I can have at least a small handful of waking time to myself. Our retreat is always out in this community center way out from the city so there's plenty of scenery and it's nice and quiet and very relaxing to take in if you allow yourself to. It's a nice short recharge after the events of the day before and knowing what's coming the next day. And after three days of constant interaction, immediately when I get home I just sit down and try to take everything in. But after long nap after I get home, I start missing the kids and the mentors and wish I had yet another day with them.
Several years ago I had a summer job doing orientations for my college and that required nearly constant pleasant interaction for two day spans, on Monday-Tuesday and Thursday-Friday. I held up the genuine pleasantness for a much, much longer span of time than any of my coworkers, but I remember getting home every late Friday afternoon needing at least a handful of hours of complete solitude to recharge after interacting with that many people that constantly for so long.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm perfectly content being around a constant "hustle and bustle" for long periods of time and I'm also comfortable with having periods of quietude. But I only have so much energy for either before I really start to need the other.
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