Kodi Arfer / Amusements

The Robot Test

This page is a translation of the "Robot Test" (V4.0, Darker and Edgier) to HTML and JavaScript. The image describing the test seems to have first appeared on /r9k/ in January 2016. Its author is anonymous. I've tried to reproduce the contents of the test faithfully. As I hope goes without saying, it isn't representative of my own views on autism, gender, sexuality, etc., and it isn't any good as a personality test. But it's pretty funny.

As of 18 October 2016, I'm a 91-point "Slightly Strange" person, which seems fair, if a bit of an understatement.

See also a stupid personality test I wrote myself.

The test

Characteristic Points
Have an attractive face5
Healthy weight for your age and sex4
Particularly fit/strong/muscular2
At least 6 ft tall (M) / Good figure (F)3
Exercise regularly1
Have a decently healthy diet1
Minor or no physical abnormalities3
No smoking addiction — vaping included1
Don't smoke weed / only occasionally1
No alcohol addiction1
No addiction to any other drugs2
Good dental hygiene1
Shower regularly2
Have at least a decent fashion sense2
Visit a doctor regularly1
Have a good hairstyle2
Take pride in your body1
No significant autism, Asperger's, etc.3
No significant depression3
Taking meds or therapy if applicable1
Feel content or happy most of the time3
Feel love for someone, family included2
You think you're a nice person1
Not anxious around family/friends3
Not uncomfortable around strangers1
Don't feel anxious about going outside2
Don't feel stared at when outside1
Feel motivation during the day2
No wild changes in emotion1
Have a clean conscience2
Don't find joy in shocking/gory material1
Get to sleep (quite) easily at night1
Get up (quite) easily in the morning1
No sexual attraction to under-15s3
Had at least one romantic partner before5
Had multiple romantic partners before3
Not a virgin8
Had sex with multiple partners before4
Kissed romantically before3
Held hands romantically before1
Had a relationship in the last 6 months2
Have a good relationship with family2
Have at least one friend in real life2
Have at least several friends in real life4
Socialise at least once a week1
Socialise at least once a day3
Leave the house on the regular1
Enjoy being around others on occasion1
Enjoy being around others when possible4
Recreational screen-time up to 4h a day1
Use social networks regularly2
Don't live with your parents3
Own a vehicle1
In education, employment or training4
Have a hobby or sport—not vidya, etc.2
Have a productive talent, e.g. cooking2
Own or rent a living space1
Keep your living space clean1
Moving forward in life2
Have material items to be proud of2
Won an award to be proud of1
Have children you're proud of1
Gone travelling / vacation in the past year1
Manage your money well1
Live a largely independent life2
Take care of a pet1
Attend(ed) higher education3
Have a college degree3
Bonus Round!
You are female6
Have plenty of disposable income1
Have a very large number of contacts3
Have little interest in anime2
Have no interest in tabletop gaming1
Gaming is mostly limited to console2
Healthy view of the opposite sex3
No criminal record as an adult1
Been texted by a real person recently2
Enjoy using YikYak and/or Snapchat1
You have a decent smartphone3
Fetish: None; Feet; BDSM; DP; etc.1
Don't consume hentai; ecchi; etc. material3
Your total: (Requires JavaScript to compute)
Your class: (Ditto)

The possible outcomes

130+: Successful
Some businessmen

Your looks, intelligence, and charisma have helped you overcome struggles, leading you to a wealthy and comfortable point in your life. All thanks to a mix of luck and talent, you are a shining example of a human.

116 – 129: Chad / Stacey
A bare-chested, tough-looking man in a gym

You are a step above the average normie. Blessed with some fine genetics, you don't need to work very hard to get what you want—finding a bf/gf is like child's play to you, and even the normies get a little jealous.

95 – 115: Normalfag
Some men smiling for a group portrait

You don't necessarily have the best genes or looks, but you find socialising easy and probably have had plenty of relationships before. You have a very typical personality and set of interests, and need to get off my board.

82 – 94: Slightly Strange
A man whose head is mostly obscured by a black hood

You have several qualities of a robot but participate largely in the normalfag world. You probably even hang out with normals, although they can sense you are not one of them so you struggle socially.

59 – 81: Cyborg
A man looking thoughtfully at a noose

You are a sorry amalgam of robot and regular human. You linger in two worlds at once, an outsider to both the normies and the robots. As a result, you may be on your own with your feels.

35 – 58: Robot
A "neckbeard" wearing a trilby and half-gloves

Your flesh has turned to metal from feels. A little magic flows through your enlightened veins, and you are a likely suspect for a mass shooting in the beta uprising—however, this would require going outside.

25 – 34: Wizard Apprentice
A man wearing a trilby and holding a body pillow with an anime girl on it

Although hope for you is bleak, it is not impossible. You have a great potential for magical powers but time may yet heal your soul into that of a mortal.

9 – 24: Wizard
A pimply-faced man with a skeptical expression

You have given up conventional human desires and needs in favor of magical powers, only attainable by some of the most concentrated, powerful autism physically possible.

0 – 8: Grand Wizard
A fantastic humanoid with a pointy head and two large horns

No longer human, you are barely attached to the living world by a thin thread. The curse of autism eternal and spaghetti all-powerful has consumed your life and soul as you straddle the line between this world and the next.