So, as you'll all remember, a month or two ago my ex got dumped by/dumped her boyfriend for reasons only partially known. I took guilty satisfaction in this fact and continued living my life. For my college football fan friends here I must quote Lee Corso: "Not so fast my friend!" Friday evening, two days before this posting, I had returned from the bar with a few friends of mine and we threw Rock Band in. After playing for a little bit I walked everyone out and prepared for bed. It's about 2AM at this point and I look at my phone out of reflex. Lo and behold, the iPhone screen says that I have TWO text messages from my ex! I have not spoken or had ANY contact whatsoever with her in nearly six months and wasn't planning on changing that. Now, I assumed that with two texts one may have been a mis-text and then an apology. Nope. The texts speak on the fact that she's midnight bowling with a girl friend of hers and they played a song that "always makes me think of you" and asks me how I've been.
Now, I had a choice here. I could delete the texts and carry on with my bedtime preparations. Or I could text back. I chose the latter, possibly foolishly. I cordially texted back saying that that was funny and finished with "I hope you're doing great, Linz!" I called her by the old nickname out of reflex and she immediately responds with "No one has called me that since you :)" Several texts later, she asks if it would be ok for us to see each other and that she would really like to see me. At this point I know I'm going down in flames.
Now, about a day-and-a-half later, we have quite a long string of texts to each other, all kind and light-hearted.
In summary, I'll quote the narcissistic Kanye West: "I was flyin', now I'm crashin', this is bad - real bad."
Hate away, my online family!
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
Call her out on it: "Look, you realize that we are definitely never getting together again really-I-mean-it, right? So we can be friends but that's it, right?" She could respond well or badly, but either way, you'd head off a lot of awkward ambiguity.
Unless you don't even want to be friends with her, in which case you should tell her that, then stick to your guns and cease all contact.
I do think that, contrary to popular belief, it is possible for people to have good relationships with their ex-boos. One of my aunts gets along pretty well with her ex-husband. (My other aunt, not so much.) On the other hand, don't forget about http://arfer.net/pms/topics/57410167 .
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"…and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him."
For some reason I find it really funny to see Kodi say "ex-boos." But I pretty much agree with what he says.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)
My justification for using the word "boo" is just that it doesn't need to be inflected for gender and it isn't quite as silly as "significant other".
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"…and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him."
But why not that just use the word that boo is a corruption of, beau?
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)
"Beau" has stronger connotations of maleness than "boo".
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"…and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him."
Yeah, I'd thought "beau" was a male-gendered noun.
Also, I totally read that as "ex-boss" the first time.
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Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Man I hope you like awkward post-breakup sex, because you're gonna have it and post about it.
(Actually I've heard the post-breakup is super unawkward.)
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
^ I would ABSOLUTELY post about that.
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
I think we'd be insulted if you didn't Pooty
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Well, there is a new accent of n00b language. It's called: Vet LUEser goes Foreign!-MegaSpy22
Those must be the pants of the gods!-Digitalpython
Post-breakup sex is a thing? Oh man, human sexuality is hilarious.
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"…and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him."
Dude, don't fall into her trap. You had your time, and it didn't work out. If Lindsey's anything like my ex *shudders* don't subject yourself to her and keep your dignity. My ex cheated on me and then had nerve to ignore me? I DON'T THINK SO! We, as men, need to maintain our dignity and not let women bring us down further when they kick us. Also, that's not being sexist. I'd say the same thing if you were a girl, but I'd phrase it a little differently... :P
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I HAVE BEEN REBORN! http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz325/Mountrussmore/Transformation.jpg
You know, I think this is a relationship Brandon loves to hate and I think furthermore that he likes being surrounded by disapprovers. That's why I didn't post in this topic. I do think he's being foolish but clearly he likes learning about Lindsey through experience rather than through advice.
From: HeyDude | Posted: 8/10/2011 11:38:27 AM | #014
That's why I didn't post in this topic.
Er…
No, actually, if we're putting on our psychology hats, let me point out a more parsimonious possible explanation: there have always been both things that Brandon likes about Lindsey and things that he doesn't, and the salience of these things varies such that he is liable to be trapped in a sort of cycle. It reminds me of a story I heard on This American Life about a woman who loved her husband while he was in prison but hated him while he was free.
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"…and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him."
http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/image-files/cycle.jpg <--Extrapolate out from there
Everybody has things about friends/loved ones they don't like. Even in non-pathological situations, tensions build up as the frequency of exposure to unpleasant behaviors continues. In a close relationship, if there isn't the attempt to mitigate those behaviors, you end up at a saturation point where you're like "oh for the love of all that's good and doesn't piss me off, put your damned socks in the hamper" or whatever. If you aren't in the constant contact implied by the relationship, however, it's easy to ignore these things that grow unpleasant only by grades, or to forget them when they've been out of the picture for a while.
Although I think you're onto something, Alex. Relationship drama can be a pretty comforting thing, 'cause all other things being equal you're focusing on how you have a validating relationship.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
Kodi knocked this one out of the park.
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
Well, if that's the case, you need to make a decision and commit to it. You can't be back-peddling because it'll show her it's okay that she treated you the way she did. Either choose to remain cordial as friends, get back together with her, or don't be friends at all. It sounds like it's going to come to one of those three options, eventually... You have to make the choice.
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I HAVE BEEN REBORN! http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz325/Mountrussmore/Transformation.jpg
Monty's like 6 months late to the party.
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Well, there is a new accent of n00b language. It's called: Vet LUEser goes Foreign!-MegaSpy22
Those must be the pants of the gods!-Digitalpython
All I know is that I'm probably gonna end up really sad again. Because what I think will happen and what I want to happen are polar opposites.
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
And what is that, Brandon?
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I HAVE BEEN REBORN! http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz325/Mountrussmore/Transformation.jpg
Dream scenario: She comes back and says that she had to go out in to the world and experience what she did to realize that she was supposed to be home the entire time with me. All things forgiven, just "us" again.
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
No, no, I assure you that you don't want that.
http://arfer.net/pms/topics/57410167
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"…and the colonel was certainly not going to waste his time and energy making love to beautiful women unless there was something in it for him."
Are you sure that's what you want, Brandon? Often times, we think we want something based on how it appears to us, but when it actually becomes a reality, we realize after all that we did not want it. I very recently came to this realization, and I'm much happier with my life. :D
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I HAVE BEEN REBORN! http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz325/Mountrussmore/Transformation.jpg
I said "Dream Scenario", didn't I? I know it's not reality.
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
Yes, I did get that. Sometimes, though, the things we see in our dreams or fantasize about appeal to us until they become a reality and actually don't make us happy. From what it sounds like, she may want to get together with you just as much as what you dream about. The key question is: Will getting back with her make me happy?
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I HAVE BEEN REBORN! http://i840.photobucket.com/albums/zz325/Mountrussmore/Transformation.jpg
I just watched The Darjeeling Limited yesterday.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
I mean, I dunno. Sometimes I think I just want HER back. And other times I think talking to her just fuels my fire to push the eject button on her and gives me the confidence boost to find someone else.
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
This is your thing artistically (warning: pointlessly sad in that David Foster Wallace Indie Movie way): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lamWhA7j8gY
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
And in a total reversal... I'm going out with a totally different girl tomorrow night!
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"A special effect without a story is a pretty boring thing." - George Lucas
My mind = blown
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Well, there is a new accent of n00b language. It's called: Vet LUEser goes Foreign!-MegaSpy22
Those must be the pants of the gods!-Digitalpython