Rather depressing story. If you're in a good mood, stop reading this.
My
mother passed away in 2000. Before that she had remarried and had a
third son named Dillon. Dillon asked Timmy (younger brother, first
marriage) and myself a couple of months ago if we had anything that
reminded us of mom. Dillon's birthday is tomorrow, so today Tim and I
decided to go through my shed to see what was in there that we could
gift to him that might make him feel a little better.
After
digging for an hour or so and rediscovering many good memories between
the two of us, Tim stumbled upon our old answering machine. Not
thinking it through, I asked for it and popped it open. What do ya
know, the tapes were still in it and they were cassettes. I pulled them
out and walked towards my truck.
I shouldn't have.
After
turning the key to get the radio going, I first popped in the message
tape and found a whole lot of nothing. Tim had caught up at this point
and was standing mute beside me. I put the welcome message tape in.
Mom's
voice came out of the speakers and stunned us both into immobility for
several minutes. Driven by some reason I still can't explain, I hit
rewind and we both listened again.
Seven years since the
last time I heard that voice, and afterwards we both wound up
blubbering like idiots. Harriet came out to see why we had been outside
for so long and found us like that. I've never loved her more than in
this moment, she pulled us both in for a hug and the three of us stayed
there for at least twenty minutes.
The reason why I was such a
mess is regret. We did not end on good terms. I moved back to Jersey
when my sister called and told me that Mom was dying, but for some
reason I choked every time I tried to apologize for the things that I
said and did. In the end, she didn't know what was going on anymore,
but I don't really know if she wanted me around.
Whoever is
actually reading this, take a lesson away from it. DO NOT let someone
go without making peace with them. If you do, it'll come back to bite
you.
I wish I could post something uplifting for a change. . .
---
Anyone
who acts like an idiot on this board gets treated like one. If you want
to act the hormone-driven drool-monkey, you'll get mocked for it.
Not entirely sure what to say...I'm not sure what I can say that wouldn't seem sort of hollow in this topic.
I'm not very good with serious things...
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"I am a leaf on the wind; watch how I soar." - Wash, Serenity
You don't have to say anything, Jake. I wrote this to get it off of my chest, not to get a reaction out of anyone.
Just learn from it.
---
Anyone
who acts like an idiot on this board gets treated like one. If you want
to act the hormone-driven drool-monkey, you'll get mocked for it.