So yeah, on the eve of moving in with my girlfriend, she got cold feet (the week of haranguing phonecalls from her evidently religious family probably didn't help) and then decided that the whole relationship was done with. The whole thing was pretty devastating (like we had cats I'm not going to see again), but such is life from time to time.
So now I'm back at my parents' house despite being like thirty, sleeping on a mattress in the living room with my stuff all around me in rubbermaid tubs I didn't pack. I can't find my work shoes.
I'm just trying to keep my head up and look for apartments. I don't know exactly where I'm looking, and I don't have anyone in mind, so it's more in the realm of keeping busy than doing anything meaningful. (There was one place that sounded okay, but it's in the town I grew up in, and I don't love the idea of staying here forever, because this place devours people's souls. Not quite like Connecticut, but kind of. On the other hand, I feel pretty beaten down right now, and maybe what I need is something familiar. I don't know.)
So yeah. There was a life we'd talked about having together that's just not going to come into existence and I'm pretty bummed about that, and that's without getting into the housing issues which induce misery in their own way. I'm trying to focus on the positives, like how virtually all of my free time was eaten up going up to her place, where nobody knew anyone and we didn't really do anything. That's obviously a solvable problem, and what went down strikes me as tossing the baby out with the bathwater, but it's something.
I thought it came out of nowhere, but in retrospect there was a thing I just reminded myself of. She was dead set on staying in CT, whereas I really liked living in the city. She was really bummed about it, so I reassured her that I was okay with moving up there, because I cared more about our relationship and future together than I did about where that future took place, and she got very sad and said that she didn't. But then we got Indian food and watched Trollhunter.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
Man, that's horrible. As much as I complain about what sexuality does to people, it's worth remembering that some of the misery that arises from relationships is due solely to the circumstance of putting a lot of trust in someone who is never really guaranteed to be committed. My mom, my PhD adviser, and the guy who cleans my house all have varying degrees of implied commitment to me, but a boo can dump you at any time.
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"And they call this psychology!"
Well, at least Indian food and Trollhunter are good uses of time.
My roommates have told me that they plan on moving out in August. So I'd have a room in a month.
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"To truly live, one must first be born." ~ Evan [aX]
Paper Mario Social: The Safe Haven of GameFAQs. (Board 2000083)
Sorry Will. There's no comfort quite like time,, so just get through the days and do Willis stuff and eventually you'll wake up feeling pretty well. You're a quality guy and I'm sure you're on a (twisty) path to finding your mate.
We're in pretty (very) similar situations, only swap cat for dogs, Connecticut for Ohio, and add in a little bit of emotional infidelity just for fun.
I don't really know what to say other than it sucks, a lot, and I hope you get through it. Apartment hunting is the last thing you want to do at times like these.
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Ocarinakid
Have you considered joining a monastery?
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Thanks, guys. I don't really know what I'm going to do yet. Being at work is not helping but then that's a choice I made.
James, I don't know for sure that I want to move back to Astoria, but I'll keep in touch.
@ Mark: Yes.
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Willis, it seems like every other time you post, I need to look up a word that's in the OED or Urban Dictionary but not both.
-Mimir
Hm... I know now is not the right time for me to live vicariously through you if you did join one, but for now I will simply offer you hope.
Here it is. Feel its warmth invigorating your soul, like a warm drink on a cold day.
Hope.
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Some weirdo defaced a few of the doors in the psychology building with what appeared to be blue chalk. Each door had an innocuous cheery word on it, like "peace". The door to my lab had "hope".
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"And they call this psychology!"
You have a guy who cleans your house?
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Yes, in the name of spending money to make my life easier.
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"And they call this psychology!"