Anyone ever done something or seen something that changes, even in a small way, the way you see the world, or even yourself?
I remember several years ago, for a sociology class in a community college, we had the opportunity to tour a nearby state penitentiary. It was fascinating, and a bit scary. We went several places, mostly places that didn't have prisoners in them. I really wish I had written about it at the time since it was quite an experience.
But anyway, we did see the workshop, where inmates did woodworking. The thing that the prison guard told us (he was giving the tour), which really struck me, was that one inmate had, over the course of several years, created a 1:1 replica of an engine, entirely in wood, and that it now sat in a museum. The other part was when we finally got to meet some inmates. We were taken to the honor lifers section. They had worked hard to get where they were. And they were trying to make the best of what they had. Once had a collection of books and was studying religion, I think Buddhism. Another had been given permission to decorate the floor of his cell so that it looked like it was granite. It really did.
My initial takeaway was that no matter how screwed up a situation you're in, there's a chance to make the best of it, to find personal fulfillment around you.
But after I thought about it for a while, I had a much more important realization. There were terrible things going on in that prison too. Our group had some college age girls with us, and the guards decided against touring the main prison because they thought the general prison population wouldn't be able to control themselves, and "it wouldn't be fair to the prisoners." We heard of prison escapes, and had to go into a secure area as those in solitary confinement were escorted from exercise areas to their cells. We learned that the shorter days of winter mean that the inmates have less time where they can be in the prison yard, outside. There was a bunch of stuff that should have made me think that it all was terribly depressing...
But I found that even considering this, my initial thoughts stayed, that I'd learned that people can find fulfillment of some sort in their lives. And in finding that, I realized that I'm an optimist. I do see bad in situations. I can hear things explained as negative, and understand why they are seen as negative. Even so, I tend to focus on the good. It's not a universally true thing--I do get upset from time to time--but on the whole, there's always a part of me trying to find the silver lining. And I'm happy that I discovered this about myself, albeit through a roundabout way.
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Fame is but a slow decay.
-Theodore Tilton
It's funny that you mention this, because I had one of those moments literally last weekend. I went to a two-day dance intensive known as "theTOUR" hosted by California-based dance company Movement Lifestyle. I took ten master-level classes over two days (five classes a day) from some of the best choreographers in the country.
Having only a year and a half dance experience under my belt, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I was able to retain from the classes. I'm actually still in the process of writing a (rather) lengthy blog about it, but here's an excerpt:
Stories from the mL Tour: Keone Madrid's Class - "Dive"
There was that moment when he’s splitting the room into groups and Keone Madrid says, “I have an idea. I saw an exercise like this once.”
“Everybody with 2 or less years of dance experience go on the floor.”
I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. I stepped out from the crowd and joined maybe six or seven other people on the floor. Keone asks everyone for their encouragement and I hear the thunderous applause resonate through the room.
It struck me how hard it was for me to believe that there were that few of us out there. But I didn’t have a lot of time to think about that- Keone had already hit play.
The music comes in with Usher’s voice in the introduction to Dive.
Keone’s piece was probably the most challenging one that we learned that day and one of the most challenging ones from the entire weekend- for me, at least. But after already taking nine challenging classes and being in the midst of taking this last one, I was used to being a little unprepared.
My performance in that runthrough was all right. To be completely honest, I barely knew what I was doing. But I hit the moves that I could and, like everything else that weekend, tried my best with the time I had. After all, Keone gave me an opportunity, and I wasn’t going to waste it.
My group’s turn ended and the next groups went through. Keone asked for everyone with 2-4 years of experience to come forward for their turn. Then 4-6 years of experience. 6-8 years of experience. 8-10 years. More than ten years. There was one girl there who had been dancing for more than 20 years.
Keone’s little experiment taught me two important things. First, I got to observe the difference that time makes- the results of both the labor and patience that come with developing as a dancer. I could see the confidence in the eyes of the groups that came after me and the greater confidence and control in their movements.
But I learned one other equally important thing by watching the groups with progressively more experience go after me: no matter how much experience we have as dancers, we all still struggle and we all have room to grow. In every group, there were the standouts- the people who had it, the people who nailed the movements and the character of the piece that Keone had shared with us. But there was equal evidence in every group of the struggle that we all share- the struggle to get the hand or arm movements right, the struggle to place feet correctly, the struggle to hit the right character or texture, or perhaps most importantly, the struggle to be better than we were just a moment ago.
Whenever I listen to “Dive” and I hear that introduction, I have this weird mindset that it’s this ‘final boss’ music from the last class of one of the most intense physical and emotional experiences I’ve had in a very long time. But it also reminds me of that culmination of all of the realizations I made through my entire experience at theTOUR. Like Lyle’s pieces, “Dive” represents not where I am right now, but a place where I know I am on my way.
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http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v129/ukealii50/kylo.jpg - Thanks uke!
http://img193.imageshack.us/img193/829/07kyloforce.png - Thanks Diyosa!
An odd turning point in my life occurred in sixth-grade English. The classroom was pandemonium: the students were all over the room, everybody was talking at once, and if the teacher was trying to restore order at all, she was failing miserably. This was normal for my middle school, but on that day, for some reason, I realized that I hated it. I dreaded, and still dread, disorganization, anarchy, chaos, noise. In a way, my goal in life is to find the order underlying the seeming chaos of human behavior.
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"I'm sure everyone on this list will be glad to know I don't plan to reproduce myself." -Richard Stallman